This little bundle of joy and happiness is the reason why I do anything in life these days. I remember when this beautiful little boy entered my world. I NEVER thought I could love anyone so much. My sister was right, it is a different kind of life, unconditional and it hits you as soon as you see your baby! 'BAMM'! Just like that!
Elijah made me view things so differently! Clubbing, going out for dinner, dating, working, socialising with friends, just did not seem that important any more. All that mattered was the safety and well being of my son. All I wanted to do was make sure he was happy, loved and grew up to be a good human being!
Now, nearly three years later, my desire to protect my greatest achievement has never been stronger.
My life has changed drastically since becoming a mother. I use to be a little social bee. I would be at every event I was invited to. I wanted to be seen and have careless fun. Life was one big party really. I absolutely loved it!
But these things no longer interest me. Now, when I am invited to any event or night out, I have to really think about it before I can R.S.V.P as there is a lot of planning involved. I have to think about finding a babysitter first and foremost. Then, whether I can afford to go out? Before I even start thinking about what I am going to wear and how am I going to get to the venue.
I know, as a parent, you can relate to some of what I am saying. I think it is worse when you are a single parent and you do not have much family.
Parenting is the hardest job in the world! FACT!! Single parenting is even harder! You have to be both mum and dad. You have to deal with providing for your child by yourself. The things you want/need have to be put on the back burner or completely removed from the equation. You have to constantly multi-task.
You do all this because you love your baby!
I always feel like I have to be sorry because his father denied him. And for a long time, a very long time, I was hurt and cried about it. However, I am believer that everything happens for a reason and that God only gives me trying times to test my strength.
With everything I have been through in my life, I think my strength is amazing! (Don't mind if a toot my own horn) Life is nothing if you have no one to share it with. No one to live it for!
Nobody ever said being a parent was easy and every day I push my patience threshold further and further.
Elijah is the reason that I can smile again and I wouldn't want to live my life without him. He makes me laugh with things he says or when he does his pretend break dancer moves! He really is a hyperactive child and you do need energy to keep up with him! It is so true, they really do grow up so fast. I wish I could have enjoyed him more when he was a baby. But I wanted him to grow up so I could see him walk and talk........
I do think about what he will be like when he is a teenager. I hope we are still as close as we are now.
Elijah has given me the great idea for my business and when he is older, I want him to know that my clothing line is what I did for him to say thank you for being my son.
I want him to be proud of me.
To be able to give him the life I never had, would be my biggest legacy!
This is beautiful - Being a mum is an amazing feeling =D x
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